Soldier's Death Tests Family's Feelings on War

Jean Durgin’s living room is filled with pictures of her son, 23-year-old Army Sergeant Russell Durgin.

Many of the images show Russell and his twin brother Sean.

Even at the age of six, there’s a striking difference between the twins – standing in front of his Christmas tree, Russell is theatrical, winking one eye and giving a big thumb’s up sign.

Sean stands at attention, more formal.

Looking at the picture today, Sean speak in forceful but reserved tones.

1246 :04 (I’m mad and sad, disappointed, devastated, I guess probably every emotion you can have going through your head, he was my twin and we became best friends and it was just a huge loss to me)

All the pictures collected for Russell’s funeral show him happy, as if to push back the sadness felt by the family.

One photo shows Russell wearing sunglasses, a T-shirt, and a backpack, behind him nothing but sky and a rainbow.

1273 1:13 (it’s a one in a million life time shot of getting behind a big rainbow like that)

That’s Russell’s father, Lester Durgin, talking about his favorite picture of his son.
1274 (how happy he was at that time, he was always happy in his training, no matter how hard it was, he always had a smile)

Above the pictures of Russell, is a poster board filled with photos from this military family.
Russell’s father, grandfather, great uncles and aunts all served.

Russell was the first one not to make it home from war.

The twin brothers enlisted when they were just 17, while they were still in school at John Starke High School in Henniker.

Sean is in the Air Force and was stationed in the Middle East in 2004.

Lester, a marine during the Vietnam War, say’s he’s proud of his sons, but the conflict in Afghanistan is testing the family’s endurance.

1253 I thought it was great my boys were joining the service, like I say freedom doesn’t come free and somebody’s got to be out there defending it, but now this has dragged on long enough, same as Vietnam , this war here is starting to become very old and Afghanistan in particular is very futile

The Army is awarding Russell a Purple Heart, Bronze Star and a medal of commendation for bravery.

But that does little to comfort the family.

Sean Durgin.

1246 :50 I don’t know why these guys are doing what they’re doing it doesn’t really make sense to me, I’m in the Air Force and we drop bombs, and I guess I have a little trouble understanding why the Army’s doing what they’re doing where my brother was.

But his brother’s death hasn’t changed his commitment to the military.

Sean says he’s just upset the country is learning the hard way how to fight the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sean says he’s proud of what he’s doing.

1261 :22 I’m certainly not scared to fight for my country, my brother did it and he died for his country whether people believe that it was the right decision or not, and I will continue to do the same.

Russell always wanted to see action.

His mother Jean Durgin says much to her dismay, she watched her son transfer from the reserves to the infantry.

He served in South Korea, and shortly after bombs dropped on Baghdad, he served in Iraq, seeing combat first manning a 50-caliber machine gunner mounted on a Humvee.

1271 1:40 he was eager to go to Iraq because he felt very strongly about the mission, he did not come home saying that because he had watched people die and saw horrible things that I can’t repeat, that he could barely repeat.

Jean and Lester, who are divorced, differ on their opinion of the war in Iraq.

Lester believes in the operation, but admits he’s growing weary of so much death.

1253 1:40 I guess it just takes time for things to evolve, I know Iraq is getting on track, the schools and the hospitals and the education and facilities, everything is moving along, it’s cost us 2500 men which by wartime standards I guess isn’t a lot but still it’s 2500 Russell’s and Sean’s.

Jean didn’t want her sons joining the military.

She has been outspoken against the war --- but she says she always supports the troops.
And now she’s trying to come to terms with her son’s death.

1268:02 I was angry at Russell last week, I said you never listen to me Russell you just never listen, but I have forgiven him, I’m not angry with him, I’m proud of him

Jean says Russell had talked of coming home to New Hampshire, settling down and becoming a state trooper.

And he was going to marry his girlfriend Michelle Dougherty.

But Jean says at the same time, Russell knew the dangers of war – and had asked one of his buddies to call his mom if he should die.

12:67 1:21 I know Russell told me more than once, Mom, someone is going to die and it could be me, HE SAID THAT TO YOU? Yes, because I kept saying I wanted to get him out of this, and he said it could be me, and apparently he had prepared for that eventuality.

The family was concerned about Russell’s safety but they relaxed a bit when he was sent to Afghanistan.

1249 Sean- I know I did, I was always worried but I though he was safer there than he was in Iraq. Lester- when he was in Iraq he had so many close calls in his humvee you know we thought when he got out of Iraq he’d be safe, but it turned out that is was actually worse in Afghanistan.

But Sean says Russell was always a character, making the most out of life – the thumbs up sing he was giving in the picture in front of the Christmas tree, became his trademark.

1260 :55 he knew how fragile life was from what he’d seen so he didn’t spend his time worrying about the little things, he tried too live every moment, he lived more in his almost 24 years than most people do in a lifetime.

Russell and Sean were born on a Friday before the Fourth of July.

People lovingly referred to them as the firecrackers.

Their mom Jean says shortly before Russell was killed, the family sent him a birthday care package.

1276 we knew that Russell wouldn’t be here for his birthday this year, so we had a little celebration last week and made a tape, that that we would send that with his birthday package, so we all drank a toast and wished him happy birthday on tape.

Russell Durgin would have been 24 on July 2nd.

He never received the tape.

Outside the Durgin home, where a sign once welcomed Russ home, a banner hangs.

It reads, “You left us too soon, but you will always be with us.”

For NHPR News, I’m Amy Quinton.