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Granite Staters Coming Home from War
By Laura Knoy on Thursday, April 10, 2008.
Granite Staters have been part of the Iraq war since it began five years ago. After their deployments have ended, many have returned to normal life, while others have gone back for second and third tours of duty. And some have come back injured, or dealing with mental or emotional scars. We look at how New Hampshire's military servicemen and women have adapted to life after war and what aid the state is providing.
Guests
- Al Porsche, Counselor at the Manchester Vet Center for United States Department of Veterans Affairs
- Sargeant Jeff Alford,, 48-year-old army vet who served for 5 months in Baghdad before becoming injured.
- Sargeant Greg McGrady ,36-year-old Iraq veteran who returned from war in 2004.
- Terrie Raposo ,Head clinician for the V/A Medical Center . Terry and her staff are the first to evaluate and recommend treatment to vets once they return to New Hampshire.
- Matt Bernard , New Hampshire Iraq War veteran who returned in 2006. Matt is currently working on a series of documentary on other New Hampshire war veterans.
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This is a wonderful program; it speaks to me and my life situation perfectly. I am not a Vet however. I am a 46 year old mom and share this disorder with many women who were traumatized by rape, child-hood abuse, spousal abuse and even automobile accidents.
Unlike a returning veteran there is no increasing global understanding of why we are "nuts". Our downward spiral and inability to function socially in an appropriate way are often inexplicable even to ourselves. Personally, there were years-long gaps in my memory starting around age 13 when I ran away from a very dysfunctional home. It was nearly 15 years before I started to remember the multiple rapes (twice gang style) beatings and years of living in abject terror.
Even then, in therapy,I was not diagnosed as having a serious disorder and cast of again into a dangerous life of drugs, alcohol and street living. It was not until I became pregnant at age 34 that I admitted something was wrong and that, in order to be a good mother I had to seek help. It was not until this past year that I was diagnosed after a two year period of severe and debilitating depression and physical pain that led to addiction to a pain killer and increased alcohol abuse and erratic behavior. Although I am doing much better now, I lost my marriage, my home and very nearly my child as a result of my symptoms. I have found it impossible to hold a job; even though I am very qualified, hard-working and intelligent "personality clashes" have led to my release three times in the past two years. Rage caused me to punch out a window in 2006 and led to permanent nerve damage in my right hand (I used to type 50 wpm, this missive is taking 1/2 hour). It is a often struggle of reminding myself that I have to take good care of my daughter just to get myself out of my home. Fortunately one of the greatest truths I have leaned is that, to quote Rainer Maria Rilke "no feeling is final".
Just as Mat said, it requires courage for a vet to seek help "after fire". It requires courage for a woman to seek help, especially because of the immense shame that can be so prevalent with us once we remember our traumas. I hope you will do a show on this subject as it affects SO many New Hampshire woman, the states economy and the well being and emotional growth of our precious children. We need to break dysfunctional cycles and it can only happen with greater awareness and understanding.
Jo
Keene, NH