Hyper-Parenting

Our children went through Waldorf education (Pine Hill, Wilton) which honors the developing child through exploration and play. We were encouraged to turn off electronics, leave free play time and allow the child to be outside in all of nature's weather. It felt counter cultural but the benefits were children with high critical thinking skills with an ability to be quiet in their creative play and absorbed in their imaginations. As a side effect, there is also a great reverence for nature. The children were quite natural at this. It was our allowing it, at first, which was challenging. Wouldn't trade it. (One just graduated Law school, the other in Graduate school, no fear that it will inhibit their success!)

Can you please touch on the cycle of poverty. The difference of the socioeconomic status of the family and the oppurtunties available?

Thanks

In May 2009 I was able to attend a day of first grade in Malmo Sweden with my 7 yr. old daughter in the classroom of her 7 yr.old Swedish cousin.
I was struck by the amount of time in the classroom and in the playground when I was the only adult.
In class there were 29 students. Regularly through the day for streches of two to three minutes the teacher would leave the room without making an announcement.
On the playground there were much longer periods of time - In 30 minutes I a saw an adult one time very briefly. Students played unattended without conflict. That day I was required to attend with my daughter. At the end of the day the teacher informed me that my daughter was welcome back by herself any of the remining 8 days we would be in Sweden.
On the same trip we had contact with a Danish family living in Copenhagen that had lived in NH for 3 years. Their daughter was in 6th grade. We asked what differences she has observed between school in New Hampshire and in Denmark. She reported that soon after she arrived there was an event that opened her eyes to a different way of doing things.
There was a conflict in the classromm between two students. The teacher acknowledged the conflict and announced that she was going to leave the room and let the students and the class sort it out. Ten minutes later the teacher returned and asked the students if the conflict was resolved. The students at the center of the conflict each spoke and then the teacher proceeded to ask other students in the room their opinions and observations about the way the conflict was resolved, fairness, right and wrong, and if all parties had a chance to speak, asked about interuptions, and if the tone was threatning or if all students able to conduct themselves with a level of control.

Yes! We are hyperparenting. Too many of today's parents relate to their children as if they are their project managers, and the children are their overworked employees who are expected to get results. Children are pushed too hard to be CEO's and not hard enough to be compassionate and caring human beings. It may sound contradictory, but parents need to "grow up" and relax a little, you only live once.

re: education - I agree with a lot of what Carl Honore had to say re: making the best of what you've got, but I think there's a danger too in saying so. There are people listening out there, education professionals included, who'll not understand or want to understand that there are kids who don't necessarily thrive in the education that a public school may be able to offer, but there are no other financially feasible options. They're different learners and unless parents DO make a fuss about what's happening in their classroom (and outside), the kids do and will suffer. I've had to do so every year that my now 3rd grader has been in school because her struggles have been seen as lack of motivation rather than what they really are, and I'm quite sure that I'm seen as hyperparenting by her school because I'm advocating for her needs.